in Motivation, Philosophy, Psychology, Scyence

Twenty Harsh Lessons For Your 20s – Reflections On A Decade Of Life

“As you get older, you think about things differently from when you do in your twenties, when you think you’ll live forever.” — David LaChapelle

Since turning 30 people have been asking me about the things I’ve learned in my 20s. Recently I got to boil it down to a “clickbaity” list of 20 harsh lessons.

That being said, here’s basically a list of things I found to be most useful. Some aren’t necessarily harsh but they did take time to learn. Boy did they take time!

Road Twists And Turns

Dat metaphor tho.

  • Nobody cares, so make sure you do. That goes for everything. Yourself, others, the world.
  • Things take time, develop patience. Love the process more than the results.
  • Don’t compare yourself to others. Nobody’s got the exact same experiences, advantages, or disadvantages as you. Just focus on being better than you were before and learn from those who are “better”.
  • You can’t change others by sheer will, they have to want to change.
  • Don’t worry about haters, there are 7 billion other potential friends out.
  • Listen twice as much as you speak. Two ears, one mouth? You do the math.
  • Develop a habit of reading and/or listening to audiobooks.
  • Breathe.
  • It’s OK to take some time to consider before answering. The first thing that pops into your head isn’t always the best.
  • Get curious about yourself. Why do you act the way you act? What drives you? Answering these questions will get you closer to where you want to go.
  • Learn to do stuff for yourself. As soon as you can delegate/afford to pay someone else handle the boring stuff, do it!
  • Take time to appreciate the small things in life. A flower, a glass of water, having a roof over your head, etc.
  • Hang out with older people. They have the wisdom and experience of time on their side. Listen.
  • Hang out with younger people. You have the wisdom of your experiences fresh in mind, pass them on.
  • Time is our most precious asset. You can always make more money, you can’t make more time.
  • Stay curious. There’s a lot you have yet to discover about yourself, others, the world, and beyond.
  • Get ready to make mistakes, and learn from them. Thankfully you’re still young and can recover from most things. It gets harder as you grow older, have more responsibilities, and get more comfortable.
  • Uncertainty. There’s only so much you can control. The rest is up to RNG. Learn how to deal with it.
  • Learn to develop systems that enable you to do more of what you want and less of what you don’t. For example, relying on willpower, good intentions, etc to get your ass to the gym isn’t going to cut it on a day when you “just don’t feel like it”.
  • Ask better questions. Start by being general, then get more specific as you go along. Learn about close-ended and open-ended questions.

Really short, really general. Also, make sure to enjoy your 20s!

Past your 20s? What were some of your harshest lessons? Going through your 20s? What lessons have you learned recently?


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    […] A couple of days ago I posted the article “Twenty Harsh Lessons For Your 20s — Reflections On A Decade Of Life”. […]