“I think I speak for everyone when I say we hate being spoken for.”
If it hadn’t been for the fact that I dislike going to movie theaters this year’s Valentine’s Day movie would’ve been “Deadpool”. This time the choice was between “The Notebook” and “When Harry Met Sally”. Call me a romantic sap but I love ‘em both!
After some deliberation we decided to go for the classic “When Harry Met Sally”. When we got to the scene where Billy Crystal mansplains why men and women can’t be friends my girlfriend asks me the question “Is it really so terrible for guys when a woman just wants to be friends?”
I paused the movie, started to think about the “friend zone” and came to the conclusion that no, it’s not that terrible. If, you know, she’s an uggo. Then it’s like “Well, thank little baby Jesus for that!”
This sounds horrible, but 30 years of mansperience has given me the confidence that I know how men tend to think. While we don’t always want to be with the woman in question, we still have a need to be seen as a potential mate.
If we’re not seen that way we’ve failed, as men, to live up to the standards.
What we imagine it says about us is that we’re not attractive, we’re not strong, we aren’t suitable providers, and so on.
Hence, not men.
We continued to watch the movie and felt like “Jeez, I don’t remember Billy being such a total dick. Also, what gives him the idea that he can speak for all men?”
As this thought crossed my mind I smiled. I’d done exactly the same thing.
Taking it upon ourselves to speak on other’s behalf is a responsibility given to us. Not something we have complete liberty to take.
When we grant ourselves permission to speak for others we need to be held accountable for and admit our mistakes. Using the power of other people’s voices to further your own agenda is gross misconduct.
Even when we’ve been handed the honor of advocating for other people we need to make a clear distinction between when we’re representing the interests of others and ourselves.
Do you represent other people? Do the lines between your interests and theirs sometimes get blurred? How do you deal with that?
Have a kick-ass ₢eative day!