in Business, Creativity, Motivation, Philosophy, Psychology

Assholes Or Jackasses? – Intent Is What Matters When People Say Or Do Stupid Shit

“A jackass can kick a barn down, but it takes a carpenter to build one.”

– Sam Rayburn

Usually I try to keep things positive, this time I’m going to vent and complain a little bit before serving up something constructive.

I have a problem with my balance. Sometimes it feels like the floor just vanishes beneath my feet or the world starts to tilt. Apparently this is caused by damage to the inner ear.

No worries though! I’m doing physiotherapy and the doctor says that it’s something the body will eventually fix on its own. It’ll just take some time.

But here’s my beef.

When I’ve shared this with people they tell me things like: “You should gimme that doctor’s number, if he heard all my shit he’d put me on sick leave too!”, “Well, we can’t all afford to make that choice” or some other version.

Now, I like to believe the best about people. I like to believe that they’re doing the best they can with what they’ve got. But some people just seem like assholes. It’s like they want to put you down just to feel a little bit better about themselves.

I count myself very lucky. I live in a country with universal health care, good education, good opportunities etc. Also, I was born into a world which allows me to work without being bound to a specific time and place.

On the other hand it comes with a lot of responsibilities. It’s not all sunshine and rainbows. Since there are better opportunities there’s also more pressure to achieve and live up to those expectations.

This is why those comments can feel hurtful, even if they are meant as a way of communicating that they’ve got a hard time too.

It’s not like my condition gives me a free pass to do whatever I want. In reality it restricts the things I can do.

What they’re talking about isn’t sick leave, it’s vacation. They need a break. Here is where intent really matters. That’s why I’m more inclined to call them jackasses rather than assholes.

JackassDat ass tho.

They’re probably so damn focused on their own shit that they don’t take into consideration how equating vacation with sick leave is outright stupidity.

Whereas assholes seem to be willfully ignorant about the fact that their actions or words might hurt someone. If someone gets hurt by the things I say or do it’s too bad, but that’s their problem. Not mine.

Forcing these people to play the game our way isn’t going to work. So, we need to put in place systems that put that kind of behavior at a disadvantage.

How that kind of system should look? I don’t know exactly.

I’m thinking that there ought to be something we can do. There’s probably some incentive for them to act in a different manner.

This gets me thinking about how we patch our games.

Whenever there’s a bug or an exploit that shouldn’t be there game companies put out a patch.

Apparently there’s some kind of an exploit here that allows people to say stupid shit like that. They should be able to do it, but it should also come at a great cost.

While I’m figuring it out, I suggest you take some time to read Aaron James’s book “Assholes: A Theory”.

Aaron James - Assholes: A TheoryThey’re number two! They’re number two!

Have a kick-ass ₢eative day!

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