“We are what we pretend to be, so we must be careful what we pretend to be.” – Kurt Vonnegut
As much as the expression “fake it ’til you make it!” makes me cringe i’ve got to admit it does make a point. I bet it’s phaking it too!
While reading today I came across a tip that made me think of a former bandmember. It said; “Assume everyone already likes you when walking into a room and people will gravitate towards you”. I remember him saying something really similar when I asked him what his trick was to be so comfortable. Although in private he admitted to not really being the calm, cool and collected guy he pretended to be on stage.
When giving presentations i’ve used it more than once myself. While writing and rehearsing I, like many others, doubt whether or not it’s any good. Thoughts like “This is going to put people to sleep”, “I suck so bad at this” or “Do I even know what i’m talking about?” creep into my mind. Before getting up I take a deep breath, remember that i’m there for a reason and that doggone it, people like me! Yes, Stuart Smalley does reside inside my head.
Weird thing? I usually get compliments from people who tell me it was really good and tell me about their fears of public speaking. If I have the time I tell them the truth but most often it’s more like: “Thanks! Oh, just face the fear and do it anyway!”. Such a cliché, I know. If I said that to myself I would barf all over me. Unfortunately you don’t really get too much time with individuals at that type of events.
When you do this phaking then your brain starts to rewire itself. After a while it becomes a part of your psyche. The doubts may still be there but you know how to not have them dictate your actions.
So, today I invite you to take a moment and check out what areas of your life you’d like to develop. Have anything in mind? Start phaking it!
Here are some quotes by others who’ve made a living out of it!
“I started being a songwriter pretending I could do it, and it turned out I could.” – James Taylor
“I don’t know what else I could do but pretend to be an actor.” – Alec Guinness
“Life’s like a movie, write your own ending. Keep believing, keep pretending.” – Jim Henson