“You have rejection and you have to learn how to deal with that and how to get up the next day and go on with it.” – Taylor Swift
Today is all about rejection!
Ah, the sweet smell of failure to get your idea accepted. Is there anything better? Well, sure… Actually getting through to people and having success after success is cool. But we enjoy the hunt! Or atleast, we should learn to love it.
So you’ve reached the end of the cycle of creating your thing or “thang”. You’re putting it out there and trying to push for a wider audience. You could spend all your time making calls, tweeting, instagraming, youtubing etc.
But, is that what you want to be doing? Isn’t the creation process much more fun? If you can afford to let others handle getting your thang visible, then do it!
It’s also much more effective to have other speak on your behalf. Especially if they aren’t attached to your cause.
Hey, I know, it takes time to get there. So, let’s focus on what’s real for you right now!
You’re going to go out there and represent yourself. Much respect. You get by the first gatekeepers (people scheduling your targets appointments). Cool beans! Then you get to pitch yourself. You present your product, music, talent or other do dad. You do this with such passion and honesty that you’ve never had before. Then…
Congratulations! You’ve had a complete emotional breakdown! Hopefully you didn’t have it in the office. You know that they’re going to call everyone they know, show them the security footage and say: “Can you buh-lieve this wimp? Look! Boo-hoo you big wuss!”.
Welcome to the club. Here’s your membership card, certificate and brand spanking t-shirt! It says: “Been there, done that and i’m never, ever going through the agony of rejection again!”.
This is what I would be saying were you a quitter. But you aren’t. So that’s something to build on!
With the projects first rejection under your belt you actually build on for your next presentation. The first instinct is to flip over the table with an fervent “Fffuuuh..!”. Good, use your aggressive feelings!
They can be used to fuel the next step which is in fact to say: Next!
You can channel that energy inwards and tell yourself stuff like: “I should’ve known this was a stupid idea!”, “I’ll never be good enough!” or “I feel constipated and wish to poop, this too makes me angry at myself, aaargh!”.
If you can refrain from doing this, please do. And if you’re constipated drinks some prune juice, this will please your doo-doo.
Instead, you could be Nexting ahead. Using the energy outward and shouting at the top of your lungs: NEXT!
So this is a numbers game. The more people you ask the more likely it is that somebody will say: “Yes! Oh god, yes! Do it again! It feels so good!”. Although, if that’s their reaction: back out of the room. Slowly.
This might be going against what I said in the post “Choose Yourself”. But nevermind that. You need to recruit more people to help your cause, balls to what I said! Balls I say! Although it still applies in certain cases. It’s… It’s complicated.
The more you get rejected the closer you’re getting to the “Yes” you’re looking for. Think about it. It’s basically YOU who’s weeding out the people who share your vision of what you’re trying to create!
With that said, do take some feedback. If someone offers you ways to improve your presentation or refine your idea: LISTEN! Then decide if it’s something you feel can help bring out your message in a better way. Or you could just give them a blank stare and proceed to urinate on their shoes.
I should mention something else. It isn’t rejection of you as a person. I doubt very much your ability to have people hate you in so short a while. It isn’t even rejection at all. You come out of a meeting without a contract? Great! You didn’t have one coming in either! Nothing gained, nothing lost.
Also, this is something that can be really hard. Ask for what you want. Don’t just show them how great your “thang” is (even though it’s the greatest “thang” i’ve laid eyes on, rrraow!). Let them know what you want. Be specific. If you don’t know what you want they’ll decide what you’re going to get.
- Ask for what you want.
- Be prepared for rejection.
- Don’t take it personally.
- Listen to feedback and improve your presentation or product.
- It’s a numbers game, the more people you ask the more likely you are to find the right person who’ll say “hell yes!”.
Here are some quotes by famous people proving my points. More truth in advertising!
“All the nine-planet people out there: Get over it. There’s eight.” – Neil deGrasse Tyson
“Some actors couldn’t figure out how to withstand the constant rejection. They couldn’t see the light at the end of the tunnel.” – Harrison Ford
“As a writer, the worst thing you can do is work in an environment of fear of rejection.” – Carol Leifer
“I take rejection as someone blowing a bugle in my ear to wake me up and get going, rather than retreat.” – Sylvester Stallone
“You get used to the rejection and you don’t take it personally.” – Daniel Craig
“A rejection is nothing more than a necessary step in the pursuit of success.” – Bo Bennett
“We all learn lessons in life. Some stick, some don’t. I have always learned more from rejection and failure than from acceptance and success.” – Henry Rollins
“If I went by all the rejection I’ve had in my career, I should have given up a long time ago.” – Mike Myers
“I didn’t always have 14,000 people wanting to hang out with me on a Saturday night.” – Taylor Swift