in Creativity, Motivation, Philosophy, Psychology

Procrasturbation

“Procrastination is one of the most common and deadliest of diseases and its toll on success and happiness is heavy.” – Wayne Gretzky

Aah, how I love the portmanteau. Procrastination. Masturbation. I can almost see the ad for the new fragrance from Chanel. Procrasturbatión.

Procrasturbating

Hi, Merriam-Webster? Get on this. Now.

I’d like to extend the definition (of an entirely made up word by the way) to mean: “To put things off while pleasing yourself in various ways including, but not limited to, fapping, watching videos on YouTube of girls farting (this IS a thing) and using the YO-app. Maybe even all at once.”.

A couple of hours ago I got stuck in my writing because I felt I needed more information on a subject.

So, what does one do? One does do wikipedia, books and YouTube.

What started out as a serious attempt at research went a little something like this:

1. Search for information on what parts of the brain light up when we lie and when we’re contemplating solutions to problems.

2. Found a related article about marketing to our reptilian brain.

3. Saw a link to a video on how kids lie.

4. Another link to YouTube for a kids show I liked as a young whippersnapper.

5. Got nostalgic and HAD to check out cool TV intros. Watch out for that trap door! (Should’ve gotten the hint there!)

6. Oh, food time! Which series should I see?

7. Phone: “I’m watching my stories, talk to you later!”

8. Aaaah, what was I doing? Oh, right writing… What the fffuuuhhh happened!?

Yup. Went on a bit of a tangent there.

And so it was that I fell victim to procrasturbation. I got the info I needed but the tiny voice said: “Go on, have a look at that it could lead to something interesting aaand…”

Dug

Squirrel!

After getting more than a little annoyed by this I took some time to wind down and center myself. What did I do? I forgave myself. There’s no sense in beating yourself up when this happens. It is what it is. I could’ve continued to procrastinate but noticed what i’d been doing and just came back to where I was heading before.

It’s kind of the same thing as meditation. Sit down, focus on your breathing and everytime your mind starts throwing ideas like “how much jelly would fit in a pair of cargo pants?” at you, just bring back the focus on your breathing. If you start criticizing yourself for not being able to focus, well, you’re gonna have a bad time. If you instead think “Yeah, that just happened” and go on you just might be pleasantly surprised.

Sit down, do what you need to do, if you slip up just accept that it happened and bring back focus on what you were doing.

Capping it off with a few quotes!

“Procrastination is the bad habit of putting of until the day after tomorrow what should have been done the day before yesterday.” – Napoleon Hill

“Procrastination is like a credit card: it’s a lot of fun until you get the bill.”- Christopher Parker

“I, for one, find writing excruciating. Some mornings, as I’m on my way to my desk, my hands actually tremble with fear. The fear, of course, is that I’ll sit down at the desk and discover that what I’ve written is claptrap. Fear inevitably leads to procrastination.” – Rosemary Mahoney

Robin Sharma on Procrastination:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bLp9EimaEQI

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